11:31am saturday.

guy next to me on his table with his two kids 'be grateful for what you have' - then he loses the plot and says i'm 'sick of this bullshit' - he reacting to the reactions of his kids - rising to it, pushing his buttons - not really communicating with his kids, just facilitating them.

buying them stuff, keeping em quiet. i guess as parents we all have days like that - that was until his daughter just shouts 'fucking lune-a-tic' and that's when i stop, mortified as what his child just said. shocked and stunned and a reminder of the constant message a parent has to do to maintain intelligence, focus and a level of constancy to their lives.

been in preprep mode the last 48 hrs, getting the ark.me.dm site ready for when i get over to austin tomorrow evening. i've got an early start however so it's going to be a long day - the actual conference is three days but i've got an adjustment day either side of the conference to get myself together.

the flight is non-stop so that helps a lot because i'm in really in the headspace for airports and rushing around between them - hope i can get some rest on the plane. i've got a stack of ideas in my wunderlist i need to pad out and i can add more drafts to the wordpress blogs i'd like to have up and running in october.

i'm glad i managed to get ella last night and today i dislike being away from her for any length of time when i'm stateside - i sometimes wish i could take her with me but 'ontheground' events are really not the perfect place for a four year old.

we are off to conkers in the next hour or so - look at the spot the ark is going to go and have a nice walk around the site and dropping her back early evening to mummy. i've then got to get some clothes packed and pick up my kit from the lacemarket.

i best book a taxi.

it's an early start tomorrow morning - check out http://ark.me.dm and the little boxes at the top of the website to find the team to watch and locations we will be posting our content at.

if your going to #sxsweco please watch for us in the twitter stream (we would love to interview you) and also our tag of #arkeco

proud daddy moment.

i know, i know.  it's only school and everyone has to go (as sam put to me) but it just made me super happy to see ella all dressed up and ready for school and excited and wanting to go.  she looked lovely and was wide eyed and ready for it.  seems just yesterday she was at nursery.  sam did her proud with all her new togs.

it's hard to believe that's she actually started school but the world of education, learning and bonding starts now.  she's got a classroom of about 20/30 kids with her so i'm certain she will be making a bunch more friends today.  she's that kind of girl.

aww.  mission on to get that transport sorted now.

woke up at 4am, 5.15 something and finally up and out of bed at 5:45. i was out the door at 6 and at the train station for 6:20. my train, the 6:56 to cardiff central.

it's my daughters first day at school today, i'm really excited and weirdly 'proud' of her. it's odd to feel proud i guess but i just feel she's at that enquiring stage of her life where she will just revel in the information and input.

i've watched her over the last year in social circles at the play centre and with other groups of kids and she's always kind, willing to share and understanding. i've also seen her stand her ground too mind so i'm just hoping she will do all of these things in a measured approach to school.

ella starting school is a BIG deal. it's a big deal because i was supposed to have a car sorted by now. she finishes at a time that is perfect for me to work half a day on certain days and blast over in a car to pick her up from school. i've not sorted the car out yet mind. that's my goal right now.

expect pictures this morning of her starting school - glad i've got the ability to get over this morning. i should be back in nottingham for around lunchtime today.

i look back at all the pictures i've been taking over the last couple of months and the good news is that ella is always smiling, always happy.

if there is one thing that keeps me going it is that spirit that while we are on this planet we have the ability to fight. fight for a better world, better life and educate our children what good, bad and indifferent looks like.

when you see me down and low know this, it's only because i don't have my bella with me. because ultimately, everything outside of that is just me creating circumstances to get me with her again.

it's the only love i know.

whoa, that kind just snuck up on me and kicked my butt a little bit, so much can happen in a year and things move on so quickly in life - that old blink and you will miss it kinda thing.  luckily, i've not been hanging around with waiting for life to past me by.  i'm in the moment.  building moments i can pass on for my daughter to have when she is older and i might not be here.  i've made a mission for the next two years that i'm absolutely steadfast on delivering a more concrete future for ella.

i miss my daughter today.

i child just needs to know they are loved, i'll be talking to her via skype today and then seeing her on friday and it could not come around any faster as i never managed to get to see her last week as she was ill on the friday with mediacamp happening on the saturday.  i hope she will understand in the future the reasons why i had to do what i do and chase my passions and dreams.

i look forward to the day when we have our ark and start on a year long quest together sharing lots of quality time together watching nature on our doorstep and how we adapt to living off the grid.. .

but in the cloud(s)