i looked up into the mirror and saw me. but that extra year rolling over did so in a very retro old alarm clock feel. it felt clunky, slower and with a light dusting across the typeface of the digits.

one year closer to the big forty. i'm quite aware of the things that need to be in place and where i need to be and i'm still caught in the trap of waiting. but i can't wait. i feel my daughter can't wait either.

so what do i do to push things through faster, to get transport and get the ark, what do i need to do, how do i pass sponsors and hit go. how do i just pull this together. keep going? - head down, driving forward. yes, of course.

living outside, off the grid between the lines is tough, very tough. everything is a balancing act based on a system that does not support a lifestyle that is digital. you still need paper, addresses and verification.

i've made progress. but i need to go faster, quicker and harder. i need to get to my first destination. and i need to put everything into it. i miss ella when i'm away but i also need that space to reflect.

i wondered how excited ella would be spending a weekend in london with me looking at all the wonderful sights and sounds that our capital can contain.

sharing those moments with friends this past weekend woke me up to make sure i get on with the archiving of the moments i have had for the last five years online.

oh and i have to make that will, everything that i do have i must leave to my poppet. she's the best thing i think i've ever done in my life.

she started swimming lessons this week, i bet she enjoyed it. she's a real poppet. i miss my baby, i don't miss not have the opportunities and do hope that sam has everything she needs in her life now.

for the first time in a very long time i feel that i have found a happy medium that allows me to now build on the foundations that i have been laying.

now it's time to build the house.

• Vibrating Morning Alerts - The Chirp Alarm Clock Ensures Your Roommate Stays Asleep (TrendHunter.com) (trendhunter.com)
• this is enough for one person, in one day; now it's time to sleep (subjunctivecollapse.com)
• First Day on the Job. (teampretentious.wordpress.com)

sorry i've not blogged for a week or so but i've been a bit head down with the end of the digital advent calendar and making sure i had all that finished up in time.

was quite a drain on the brain that, but worth it. another block of work, daily videos that i can talk to potential future clients regarding daily content retainers.

currently sitting on the cardiff train at five to eleven listening to norah jones with a one though process in my head -- seeing my daughter and having a fun day, which actually is quite a challenge, had a few lovely bottles of wine last night.

so my christmas came and went and it was everything i enjoy about serenity -- dan and cj went to their folks respectively and i just did nothing. opened one present, made soup and just had the moment chilled out day.

christmas is a nice full stop on a working year but i can only do it for a few days before i have to be up and out in the studio or working, planning or sketching -- those ideas just keep coming and existing projects need organising and pushing forward.

that's not to say that my mind is all over the place because it is. i'm thinking about transport, housing, ark project, studio and money to actually get ahead rather than maintain.

i dislike just maintaining a level of normality, i always want to push myself to do more. life is too enjoyable not to be present in it.

so christmas day two with bella today opening presents and generally having a textiles and sticking and gluing kind of day with her. expect pictures and videos in the usual channels. you know she is my little star.

then i actually feel like getting straight back into work, the redesigns i think and structure of the show output are really important things for me to start concentrating on as well as the widget and coding things i have going with labmediauk.

very keen this next year to push forward on the shows and building up some more advocate work from other companies, i think a lot more businesses will start to come online with social media, i just hope that they realise when they start it looks lames if you stop.

very keen to get some kind of housing early on in the first quarter of 2012 and i'm absolutely desperate for some transport to get me over to the ark location regularly until we hear news of any funds release for the project.

hoping you all had a fantastic christmas, i've been watching and looking at all your path and instagram content over the last week seeing you enjoying yourself. that's awesome. glad you had an awesome time.

oh, not sure if i've really posted about it that much but we are coming to the end of the digital advent calendar for the month of december. if you haven't seen it yet you might pick up some good tips in it!

you can check it out at http://watchdottv.fibrecamp.tv or subscribe on itunes if your that kinda of connected digital kittah.

11:31am saturday.

guy next to me on his table with his two kids 'be grateful for what you have' - then he loses the plot and says i'm 'sick of this bullshit' - he reacting to the reactions of his kids - rising to it, pushing his buttons - not really communicating with his kids, just facilitating them.

buying them stuff, keeping em quiet. i guess as parents we all have days like that - that was until his daughter just shouts 'fucking lune-a-tic' and that's when i stop, mortified as what his child just said. shocked and stunned and a reminder of the constant message a parent has to do to maintain intelligence, focus and a level of constancy to their lives.

been in preprep mode the last 48 hrs, getting the ark.me.dm site ready for when i get over to austin tomorrow evening. i've got an early start however so it's going to be a long day - the actual conference is three days but i've got an adjustment day either side of the conference to get myself together.

the flight is non-stop so that helps a lot because i'm in really in the headspace for airports and rushing around between them - hope i can get some rest on the plane. i've got a stack of ideas in my wunderlist i need to pad out and i can add more drafts to the wordpress blogs i'd like to have up and running in october.

i'm glad i managed to get ella last night and today i dislike being away from her for any length of time when i'm stateside - i sometimes wish i could take her with me but 'ontheground' events are really not the perfect place for a four year old.

we are off to conkers in the next hour or so - look at the spot the ark is going to go and have a nice walk around the site and dropping her back early evening to mummy. i've then got to get some clothes packed and pick up my kit from the lacemarket.

i best book a taxi.

it's an early start tomorrow morning - check out http://ark.me.dm and the little boxes at the top of the website to find the team to watch and locations we will be posting our content at.

if your going to #sxsweco please watch for us in the twitter stream (we would love to interview you) and also our tag of #arkeco

proud daddy moment.

i know, i know.  it's only school and everyone has to go (as sam put to me) but it just made me super happy to see ella all dressed up and ready for school and excited and wanting to go.  she looked lovely and was wide eyed and ready for it.  seems just yesterday she was at nursery.  sam did her proud with all her new togs.

it's hard to believe that's she actually started school but the world of education, learning and bonding starts now.  she's got a classroom of about 20/30 kids with her so i'm certain she will be making a bunch more friends today.  she's that kind of girl.

aww.  mission on to get that transport sorted now.

woke up at 4am, 5.15 something and finally up and out of bed at 5:45. i was out the door at 6 and at the train station for 6:20. my train, the 6:56 to cardiff central.

it's my daughters first day at school today, i'm really excited and weirdly 'proud' of her. it's odd to feel proud i guess but i just feel she's at that enquiring stage of her life where she will just revel in the information and input.

i've watched her over the last year in social circles at the play centre and with other groups of kids and she's always kind, willing to share and understanding. i've also seen her stand her ground too mind so i'm just hoping she will do all of these things in a measured approach to school.

ella starting school is a BIG deal. it's a big deal because i was supposed to have a car sorted by now. she finishes at a time that is perfect for me to work half a day on certain days and blast over in a car to pick her up from school. i've not sorted the car out yet mind. that's my goal right now.

expect pictures this morning of her starting school - glad i've got the ability to get over this morning. i should be back in nottingham for around lunchtime today.