me.dm | blog - Filed under 'age'

January 24, 2010

my daughter deserves happiness, the job slog.

it's been about three month now, six since I stopped being able to pay the mortgage. the last fees have zoomed by - find out in in a few weeks time about the fate of the house.

life is upside down, bills are stacking up, tensions frayed, projects stalled and restarted, media made but often rushed, social connections not chased due to funds. electric and gas card bingo with weekly decisions based on weather to get, no broadband at home and no legal television. tv is off anyway with no receiver equipment.

but still get's older, this was not the way we had life planned out. constantly fighting through pangs of depression and stress - self created paranoia. failure with brief moments of success and visions of extreme clarity, scanning and smelly clothes for potential temporary work wear.

gadget excitement marred with moments of hardware guilt in replacement for the basics, the double edge reflected sword of digital truth echos in my random snippits of landfall creation on distant shores.

the constant dripping of the faulty roof tile, the constant reminder of a fix rapidly needed replaced with torrents of similar pictures of other issues rapidly joining rank in an overture of advancement for a collective worrying moment as life is cataloged and presented as a bill to pay.

for now, in this bed i am warm and i'm safe but my head is raw and visions are numb.

I march the streets in pursuit of delivering on your dreams. i will never give up on you my sweet sweet child for you are the light that connects the doorsteps to a place of beauty in which the world starts a new.

I love you.

Sent from my iPhone